The Holiday Season

"It's the most wonderful time of the year" so the song says.


I personally love Christmas, but I am no fool. I know my history, I know the Bible. I know Jesus wasn't actually born on December 25th. They still have those census records ( the Romans were meticulus about those things) and yeah it was more like June right?

But hey, I am not complaining, Spring has enough to be happy about. Pretty flowers, warm weather, etc.

It is poor cold, dreary winter that needs the pick me up. And red and green are just so festive. Of course in Japan on the evening of December 25th ALL the Christmas decorations come down ( that means all the red and green go) all the wreaths, trees, angels, santas etc and they are all replaced by New Years decorations.

New years is about as "wafu" as you can get. There are giant ropes of straw, red and white banners, paper this and that, oranges, bamboo out the wazoo. For New Years it is red, white, green and gold. Oddly enough the same colours we often see at Christmas, but it is no way makes you think " Christmas"

No this is Japan culture to the max.

A coworker of mine said told me she didn't "get Christmas" since she is Japanese. Too bad I say because unlike in America where New Years is about partying and dancing and revelry. In Japan it is all about obligation. You have to go to your hometown ( you can NOT go, but I imagine the guilt pretty much drives you there) You have to make certain foods ( or you can spend a lot of money buying them), you have to go visit your local shrine and pray for a good year, and you have to eat the mochi ( that has to be the best part) and if you are a kid then you get money, if you happen to have a kid, grandkid, niece or nephew..... be prepared to cough up the cash.

I realize there is more to it that this, but seriously folks... it isn't all that fun.


So this year as you celebrate in your own way, remember to have a Happy New Year



oh yeah and resolutions are for chumps

Day 9: what if it eats me?

So, after a few days of not updating I am back! Who said these 88 days had to be consecutive? Not me that's for sure.


Anyways, look at this photo. It isnt a good photo by any means, I took it on the walk home from graduation this year.

Seriously WHAT IS IT? I know it is a dress, maybe "what" isnt the right question maybe the question should be WHY?

as in Why would anyone buy this and wear it TO THEIR WEDDING?

right there 3 questions in one, if you buy it I say you made a poor decision, if you wear it I might say you lost a bet and if you wear it to your own wedding I say you must really have something going on there I don't want to know about.

Japan has it's fair share of these things ( dresses) in store windows in an obscene array of colours with enough tulle and bows and ribbons and roses to make My little pony offended but every wedding I have seen the girl in in a white dress.

Does anyone wear these cupcake monstrosities OR do they exist to help girls convince their mothers and fathers to pay for expensive tasteful white wedding dresses?

well now the wedding dress syndicate wil be after me for revealing their secret, it was great knowing you ( see you tomorrow maybe)

Day 8: HENSHIN!!!!!

First of all I was slightly disappointed when I drank this and I didn't become a Kamen Rider.
Secondly I was EXTREMELY disappointed that after downing the whole can I was sick for 2 days.

Not because there was something wrong with it. I just don't drink soda. ever.

So why did I drink it? It is KAMEN CIDER that's why and it was only 100 yen.

it used to be called Ultra cider and was designed to look like an Ultraman costume UNTIL someone got smart and thought HEY HEY Cider and Rider sound similar! So Kamen Cider came into existance and Ultraman ended up with the inferior UltraCola.

The most fun thing about Kamen Cider is the can, it comes in 5 different designs AND has info about the rider/bad guy it is designed for... cool eh

the most unfun thing? It just tastes like any clear soda sprite-eqsue

oh and the non henshining thing isnt fun too

Day 7: what? I'm with the band

What is this?

This is me taking photos of the floor in a live house during a show. The band playing on the stage you don't see are former students of mine and I readily admit... they are pretty darn good ( so much so I have gone to 11 or so of their performances)

So when I take photos of anything I like to get all artsy, but there is something here that is of a little more interest than the lights and shadows.

It's the people. Maybe there were 12 or so people leaning on the guard rail in front of the stage and the rest of the crowd was just hanging around, sitting in chairs, leaning on walls. This would make sense I GUESS if it were jazz or something, but this was a ROCK live. These guys were up there jumping around and the people just stand there.

This happens at most of the lives I have been to. It is different from concerts, at a live you generally know the band or a member of one of the bands and I guess in that case you don't wanna jump around and look dumb. I've been to lives of older bands where they have hordes of teen fans who go nuts dancing, but that is OK, you don't know the band then.

It's weird, in a whole room of people who " know the band"

Day 6: orange and green

So, I figured instead of posting something silly or clever I would post a photo I took that I really like.

I took this photo last year on Sports Health day on my walk home after spending the afternoon in the park with some friends. I like to take photos of random things; streets, buildings, cars, shadows, etc. I pass this green phone everyday at least 2 times. I have never seen anyone use this phone, it is right near a station, a few restaurants, a super market and a bunch of apartment buildings. It really doesn't seem like a place that needs a pay phone.

It reminds me that in the U.S. they got rid of most pay phones...Though I hardly use them, the existence of payphones is somewhat comforting.

I have seen people in phone booths laughing, crying, hiding from the rain. I've even seen people living in phone booths.

I am sure my phone booth has been there for many people, maybe someday it will be there for me too.

Day 5: And yet noone notices it

So, if you know Japan you know cherry blossoms. Heck you probably even know they are called Sakura in Japanese and I'd be willing to bet you know that every year in the week or 2 they bloom Japanese people go out for the traditional flower viewing or "hanami"

as traditional as a bunch of people on a blue tarp getting stone drunk eating piles of junk food and leaving more piles of trash around can be.

Just FYI it is more about eating and drinking than it is about flowers. How do I know this? I have done it and night time is the most popular time to do it

How you looking at flowers at night.

So before you ask. These aren't sakura in the photo. You might recognize them. They are Dogwood flowers and in Japan they come in White, White with pink tips, light pink, dark pink and red.

How the heck did they manage that? I have only seen white in America. I grew up with these trees. My mom loves them, has a few in the yard. In Japan they put them by the street to pretty it up ( which is so much better than nasty old ginko trees)

But the funny part is this; I have never, been able to find a Japanese person who can identify this tree. Not by description or by sight.

It's everywhere,yet noone notices it


just like this post title says

Day 4: It's Potty Time! ( for stylish people only)

Everyone knows the "toilet people" that little blue man and red girl with round heads and nubby arms and legs. For years they have been showing us what a Man and a Lady are. There are the various other styles of bathroom signs, some use real photos, illustrations, etc. these are found in your more upscale, theme restaurants, but in general cafes and fast food use the standard nubby man and lady

So how does one explain this bathroom sign with the stylish blue man casually standing by his long haired high heeled red lady counterpart? Perhaps this is some young modern cafe?

This my friends, acquaintances and people I don't even know is a sign in a fast food restaurant. A Lotteria hamburger chain restaurant. When I saw this I stood there laughing for a good 3-5 minutes before snapping a photo. I have never seen another Lotteria in Japan, or Korea for that matter with this sign. It could be passed off as nothing in particular, but it is the location of this Lotteria that is the key.

This particular restaurant is located at one of the busiest corners in the Namba district of Osaka, on the famous, perhaps infamous Dotonbori street. This street is lined with restaurants, bars, and if one walks a bit further out of the way.. love hotels. It is also teeming with hosts, hostesses, bar girls and scouts: the ladies and gentlemen of Japan who make their money off people's dreams. Any given night they can be found, their hair styled high, sparkly shiny clothes and dripping with accesories ( and that's just the men) chatting up potential customers ( most of whom are entirely uninterested) and preening themselves like exotic birds.

Although the Lotteria might generally attract more of the high school crowd and not these mythical creatures of the Osaka nightlife, at least they pay homage to their famous location.. with their sexy bathroom sign


Too bad they hosts won't see it... they generally prefer a cheap bowl of ramen after a long night, you think with all that styling they actually have money to spend on food? ( and the Lotteria closes around 11pm)

Day 3: I'm SUPER thanks for asking

Oh the super.

Right behind the "combini" for places you are "going to" at any given time. My supermarket is particulary handy because it is one of those 24hr deals, so you can rock in there at 3am and get yourself some foodstuffs or run it at any time of day to avoid weird drunks, wayward students, rainy weather etc.

My Super is called MaxValu, and I tell you when they leave the "e" off of the word value, they apparently don't have to stick by the "max" part either. Granted there are more expensive markets. My MaxValu is somewhere inbetween the more pricey "Life" and the slightly sketch yet wonderfully cheap "Tamade" ( I gotta get some pictures of that place for you) I can buy my bean sprouts for 39 yen, and 4 onions for about 2 dollars US, not too shabby. But a can of blueberries.. a WHOPPING $10 US

Yeah I dont need blueberries that bad.. NOONE NEEDS BLUEBERRIES THAT BAD ( especially when you can get fresh ones for half that price)

My supermarket also has this " international foods" aisle, which cracks me up because the "American" section is pretty much Mexican food and some Campbell's soup.

That my friends is America: Mexican food, Heinz ketchup, Campbell's soup.

Thank me, if anyone asks you to describe the US in 3 items or less, you got them right there

Day 2? : The thing what haunts your dreams

When Okamoto Taro made the Taiyou no Tou ( Tower of the Sun) for Expo 70 he probably didn't think some 40 years later it would be standing there alone without it's big ole expo in the middle of a park in Suita city. If he did think that then I fear him.... I fear him greatly

If you wanna read some factual stuff about it, you can go to wiki
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tower_of_the_Sun

there, enjoy that if you want facts, but if you want to know how this thing CONTROLS THE MINDS of people... read on.

I first encountered the "Tou" as I call it 3 years back when my friend asked me to come along on a picnic at the Bampaku memorial park ( seriously Expo memorial park) where it lives. The thing scared the BEJEEBUS out of me when I saw it from the station. It is ENORMOUS, so much that I think the word enormous could possibly exist to describe this thing and for no other reason. Also it has 3 faces. I like to get people to argue which is the real face ( I vote the top golden one, though many go for the stomach face) It has this moon face on the front, a sun on the back and the golden face up top.

It's a 3-headed monster and I totally blame Evangelion for my fear of it. It looks like it might pop out the ground and ravage Osaka at any moment, but instead it calmly rests with it's arms out.

But how pray tell, you ask, does it control the minds of people? Well for 1 I know NO LESS than 3 people I work with who have NO LESS than 3 phone straps of the thing. They are " Okamoto Taro maniacs" so they say. And some of them even put stickers of it on their phone, and on their bags and keep mini models of it on their desks. I went into the travel agency and half the desks had mini ones sitting by the screen.

I too have succumbed to its power. After seeing it the first time, I was in fear... but it stayed in my mind. I found myself wanting to see it more and more. The second time I saw it I took this photo to capture how it makes me feel... and I bought a lapel pin of it I wear on my suit jacket to work... next time, I will get a phone strap too and maybe a mini one.

I know it is weird, but you know, I feel like I NEED TO.

And if you are thinking " hey wasn't that in 20th Century Boys?" yeah it was.







Mind Control indeed

As you like it

お好み焼き... Okonomiyaki for those who can't read Japanese, sometimes called " Japanese pancake" or "Japanese pizza" when in fact it is neither of the aforementioned items.

I could go into the argument of who makes the best Okonomiyaki ( it is Osaka by the way, Hiroshima has Hiroshimayaki and should not even be considered the same thing) or I could go into some history and bore the living daylights out of you. Or I could explain to you why I took a photo of one about 30 seconds after the guy finished mixing it up and dumping it onto the griddle instead of a finished one.

Nay, I am going to talk about the name, because it pretty much means " cooked as you like" in non direct translation. The name is funny because to make okonomiyaki there are certain ingredients one HAS TO use in order for it to be okonomiyaki ( one of these being cabbage) and if you don't like any of these necessary items it can't exactly be prepared " as you like" now can it? To take it a step further okonomiyaki restaurants generally have a set menu, with some room for variation, but let's say you'd like yours with bacon and bananas.. fat chance getting that.

The particular restaurant I had this one doesn't even let you touch it until it is finished cooking, sauced and mayonnaised ( they do at least let you decide what goes on top as long as it is one of the normal sauces or garnishes) Some restaurants make you cook it yourself, often leading to okonomiyaki cooked as NOONE would like it.

The truth is, if you really want it cooked "as you like it" you are gonna have to hole away in your home and make it yourself and hope no Osakans are watching.. and if you throw noodles in, you've made Hiroshimayaki.


heck of alot of hidden rules for something that is お好み

Oh Yeah, You ready for some noise? You ready for the movement?

So I have never, COUNT THAT NEVER, been one to blog much. In fact the term "blog" makes me thing of logs and bogs and other things one might find some slimy frogs or washed up TV actors hiding in. But as I at times suffer from horrible attacks of self- importance I feel obliged to share things..


things, near and dear to my heart. Nay, not my heart, more like my eyes or my apartment. Which basically means you get to see a lot of Osaka... and some other places I go to. I will try to avoid any cliche images ( unless it is to show them to you from another angle) How's that for fancy?

THEREFORE, I will henceforth and with much gusto bestow so benevolently upon you all my photo blog ( insert ooohs and aaaaahs) I am going to put in more than my usually effort ( of 30% compounded over a 40 year maturity) and really really がんばります on this jank. Oh and that means I am going to do my best, and hopefully update every day.

yeah you heard right kitten face, EVERY. DAY.

For how long? let's start with 88 days, because I am cool like that

So get ready folks, for 88 posts with mind numblingly excellent photos ( because I took them)

Thanks for the information, didn't know we were mind readers

This is adorable. Not like in a "awwww kittens" kind of way but in a " WHAT?" kind of way.

so maybe it really isn't that adorable.

Every year, for the past 3 years a week to 3 days before the graduation I get the proverbial low-down on where I will be stationed before the ceremonies, what time to get there, what I need to do etcetra. This year fortune seemingly was smiling upon me and as of 530 I hadnt been asked to do a darn thing and with the ceremony tomorrow I figured I was scott-free and all set to rock into that hall and watch me some grad-e-a-shun.

It dawned on me that I had Never, NEVER just gone to just the ceremony and I had no earthly clue when I was supposed to show up, so I email my schedule manager and give her the low down: noone told me I was working tomorrow, so what time does the ceremony start ( of course longer and more business like)

She gives a call to the school and Low-and-Behold! I am working on the first floor entrance for the parents/guests/others as they arrive. I need to be there at 830 am..

um, huh? I even asked 3 people what I am supposed to be doing and got the " guess you are just gonna watch"

Before you call me crazy for asking, better to ask than show up 2 hours later and get the " where the hell were you" look from 30 people eh?

Anyways foreigners do not equal mind-readers.

Who does the moon belong to?

Today, thanks to Tim (thanks Tim) I got to read that Korean netizens are all up in arms over answers to stupid questions about a chunk of useless rock in between Japan and Korea I am referring to "Dokdo island " of course. It seriously is a rock, nothing can really live on it and the only reason anyone wants it is because it seems to attract a lot of fish.

Newsflash: Fish live in the SEA not on a ROCK.

We can only hope the thing just sinks into the sea so noone can have it

This brought another idea to mind.

The moon

Using the same " we saw it first" "we stuck a name on it first" logic we could argue for centuries over to whom the moon belongs. Does it belong to the first guy who looked up in the sky and saw it? Well he probably thought it was some magical thing so he doesn't count. Does it belong to the Italians because they got a closer look at it with telescopes? Well that would be like saying I used binoculars to look in my neighbour's house so all their crap is mine. Perhaps it belongs to Russia since they sent Sputnik up there, or maybe to America because we sent up some dudes to walk on it.. ( or not some people say)


Either way none of the afore mentioned people are bitching and complaining over who the moon belongs to, maybe we should. I mean it is a giant chunk of rock and as far as I know chunks of rock are worth getting all angry over and chewing out people on the net.


Just for the record, I don't care who owns the rock, or the moon or anything. Seriously I think Pocahontas had the right idea.... you can't claim the earth

why thank you for the proposal, what was your name again?

Today wasn't the first time I got proposed to in class, but it was probably the first time in English. I don't know where this idea that you should propose to your teacher comes from. Obviously any teacher who is at least partly sane would not take it seriously for one second.

That is why they do it I am sure, because they know it will be treated like a joke so they can be as passionate about their undying (at least until you blow them off) love for you as they want.

Some kids just skip the marriage proposal all together, they realize you aren't gonna be keen on marrying a guy some 9-10 years younger than you and would much rather offer something they THINK you might take them up on ( because they watch too many movies and read too many comics) and just ask you to go out with them and perhaps join them in some " one night love"

Yeah I had to tell a kid I am not interested in "one night love" 2 weeks ago and he came back the next week wondering how he should ask so the girl would say "yes"

perhaps dropping the term "one night love" would be a good start.

I wonder if there are some unscrupulous female teachers out there who take up such offers, I know there are some men who do.( and then suddenly find themselves moving back to their home countries when the girls start talking)

So, um kid in my 2nd period class I am sorry I can't marry you. You see, I am already engaged to some other kid who asked me last year... I totally forgot who that was...

You come here often?

In light of recent events, or in some cases in the case of recent events brought to light I have been mentally accosted by the complete and utter weirdness that one's personal tastes and interests can take. Granted I have some odd likes myself, I like to watch Hero shows ( namely Kamen Rider), but my reasons are sound ( Have you seen the guys who star in them?) and my interests, though odd to some are on the normal side of things if you will.

I have the extreme fortune ( I guess) of being acquainted with a young man who has a penchant for electrical appliances. I am not talking TVs and stereos, no dear I am telling you this guy has a deep, profound respect and love for large household appliances that would probably make Alton Brown uncomfortable in the most basic of ways. This guy isn't your average "weird kid" with a tick or perhaps coke bottle glasses, no no no I am telling you he is young, good looking, TV worthy and most likely has a bevy of young ladies mooning over him daily...


and all the while he is mooning over GE washing machines and refrigerators. Does this guy have a girlfriend? I sure hope not. Why? Well he spends his Saturdays in the large electronics stores opening the doors of all the appliances, reading the information booklets and admiring their shiney plastic exteriors.

Did you shudder? Because I sure did.

What woman would deal with that? If he found a girl with the same interests, I sure hope they can be happy somewhere and never, NEVER tell another living soul about this fetish of theirs.

To quote a friend of mine " it doesn't matter how hot a guy is, if he gets off on refrigerators, it is over"

and don't even ask me to go into his hobby of trigonometry.

So all of you keeping track of weird "interests" in Japan, there is another to add to your list